


if we were our bodies

by sabinelagrande



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Damn you tumblr, F/M, Guilt, Making Out, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-07
Updated: 2012-04-07
Packaged: 2017-11-03 04:58:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/377538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabinelagrande/pseuds/sabinelagrande
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This should have stopped five minutes ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	if we were our bodies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pearl_o](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pearl_o/gifts).



There's not enough room on the couch to be doing this, there never is; the bed is right there across the room, soft and inviting, but that _means_ something, something different.

But it doesn't matter. Raven is underneath him, kissing him hungrily; her mouth is lush, soft lips and clever tongue, and there's no way he could ever be quite satisfied, ever be able to get enough of it. He's got his hand up under her shirt, her bra pushed out of the way so that he can palm her perfect breasts, roll her tight nipples in his fingers. She doesn't stay quiet when he does it, gasps and little moans; it feels so dangerous, so scandalous to be making any noise, even when Mother and his stepfather are away, not that they ever come near Charles's room anyway.

One of his knees is in between her legs, the other balanced precariously on the edge of the sofa, and he's trying to tell himself not to press himself against her. His body's not listening; his stiff cock is rubbing against her hip, and it's maddening, the need that's building in him. Her skirt's gotten pushed up, and he can _feel_ her, and this clothing, all this _clothing_ between them, it's just too much.

This has to stop right now; this should have stopped five minutes ago. If they keep on doing this, soon he's not going to stop, and he doesn't know what he'll do- he knows exactly what he'll _do_ , he just doesn't know what will come after that, the repercussions.

He pulls away from her, standing up, and he knows he's done it too fast by the look on her face. He curses himself internally; this is his problem, not hers. The only mistake she's made is letting him do it.

There's just no way to tell her what's wrong, why he can't do this anymore. He can't explain that it is and isn't about her. It isn't about the curve of her hips or her infectious smile or her wicked mind or the way she feels underneath him, warm and wanting; all of that is completely perfect, or this wouldn't be an issue at all. It's the other things about her, her position in his life, her age, the things he needs to do to protect her. He'd really just like to roll it together into a ball and bounce it right into her head; if he thought she'd let him, he'd have already done it by now.

He opens the window, turning on the fan on the bookshelf before he reaches behind _Great Expectations_ for his cigarettes. The matches are behind a book on Alexandria- despite everything else, never let it be said that he lacks a sense of humor.

It takes him two or three tries to strike the goddamned match. The first one breaks on him, and he tries again; this wouldn't be so difficult if his fingers would just stop shaking. But finally it works, and he touches the flame to the end, taking a long, deep drag. He holds it for a moment before he exhales, letting some of the tension pour out of him as he does it. He knows nicotine is a stimulant and not a depressant, but that information has never stopped anyone in the history of smoking from relaxing on that very first inhale.

He can hear Raven moving, but he doesn't know what she's going to do, whether she'll protest or whinge or just leave. But instead she pads up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist.

He turns his head towards her, giving her a stern look. "You absolutely cannot have a cigarette."

She presses her face to his back, her cheek resting between his shoulder blades. "I don't want a cigarette."

He looks down at his hand; he's only got five left in the pack, and he's very tempted to stand here and smoke it all the way down. He doesn't know if Raven would stay if he did. She's not hard to offend- and honestly, Charles would be offended too, were the roles reversed. He doesn't even know if she _should_ stay, whether he should make her go.

He reaches outside the window, crushing the cigarette out on the underside of the windowsill and throwing it into the bushes. He turns, putting his hands on the side of her face and kissing her intently.

Then he laces their fingers together and leads her towards the bed.


End file.
